a home is a home because a home...

The other day i engaged in some painting therapy. That's one of my goals for this new season to make it better than the last: create art. So time playing piano and painting and writing will actually be time well-spent and not a form of procrastination or a waste of precious time. Art (or really just creating things) is something that is essential to my nature, and i am not me if i have not been able to create.

So i painted this crappy painting on the card board that holds the picture to the frame. ha. i am also resourceful, see? and right now it communicates something to me that i need to be clear in my mind (through a line from a bebo norman song that always makes me cry). That for me, home is not the places i've been and can never return to, but home is my life with Landon, no matter where that is.

I will leave this picture up as long as i need the reminder. It seems like something that a wife shouldn't have to be reminded of, but my mind has gone scary places in the last year, and one of them was a place where i couldn't remember what i was doing in illinois, when i could return to headquarters in colorado and work one job and be with friends and family and just meet up with landon when he was finally done with school. of course, whether i'm working 2 jobs and living in a nasty place or whether i'm living my dream raising beautiful (or ugly) babies in the mountains, no matter where i am, how can i experience life fully without my husband when we indeed are one? how can i contemplate a future without him always there and think that it is a good alternative to present hardship?

So i have this little reminder. And on good days i won't need a reminder, but on some days i probably will. And it's also a declaration: I don't ever want to be without you - you are home to me. My dear, home is where you are...