Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Another lesson in marriage
Yesterday Landon and I had a conversation about his PhD program. He was telling me with excitement that one of his buddies from Trinity got into SLU's philosophy program. I asked him, "haven't you applied there before?". In 2004 when Landon sent out his first wave of applications he did apply to SLU and Notre Dame, and some of the other top philosophy departments in the nation.
You may remember that after his Masters in Illinois, we unanimously agreed that he would only be applying to PhD programs that were located in places that would offer us a life in the outdoors once again, hopefully the mountains.
And although this program at the U is good enough, it is not as high on the list as many others that he would have applied for had he not be toting around a wife who has an emotional and psychological attachment to mountains.
It never occured to me that our life here may not have been his ideal.
And, of course, I would never in my wildest dreams have set out for a life in Salt Lake City when I have the wealth of family and friends and mountains in Colorado.
But for us, our home here against the Wasatch Front is the merging of two lives, two desires, two worlds. It is perfect because it accommodates us both and we thrive here together, and it's a compromise for us both. It is a place that we have chosen in order to choose each other. I would rather be with my dear husband than with every other person that I love, and he would rather be with me (a happy me) than in a place that would hand him the keys to a future that is marked more clearly. It's amazing that we are still learning how to live together, how to love each other these many years into our marriage.
My guess is that we will always be learning.