Monday, January 14, 2008


So we have been trying to go to church pretty consistently. We've only been to 3 churches in Gurnee, but one of them we have been to on several occasions. It's amazing to go to church. I look forward to Sunday all week long! We went to Lakeland yesterday (i think it was our 4th or 5th time there). We really like Lakeland. I know a few of the people that attend there from my Trinity Wives' Fellowship Bible study and some of people in the church i am starting to recognize from my job at starbucks (or rather they recognize me - "hey, you're the starbucks girl!").

One of the songs we sang was a prayer about surrendering our lives to God. I like to think that i have surrendered my life to God, and try to remain surrendered each day - i guess surrender is continual. Yet, yesterday when the song went into detail about surrender-ment: "I surrender my hopes, my dreams, my everything," I just broke into tears. I, for the first time, surrendered my "hopes and dreams" to God about our future. My hopes about having children and returning to Colorado... those hopes, i so desperately want to hold onto and not surrender them - these IcWANT for ME. To surrender these to God just took me to a place of tears and tears. That initial surrendering is the hardest part, yet i know that this is something i will have to do continually....surrender.

For those of you who this concept is not easy to understand... Basically, i am saying, that as a woman who loves God, i am trusting that his plans in these areas of my life are the plans that are best. Surrender is saying that I DESIRE HIS DESIRES for me more than my desires. And i can do this, not because i have a cruel and selfish God that i need to be obedient and prostrate before, but because I KNOW GOD and have KNOWN his great faithfulness and sweet love. I surrender to him because i know that only in surrendering to his plans and desires for my life will i live in the richness that is living in God's will.

Well, i will try to continue to surrender. Each day. Surrender.

That was a tangent i didn't mean to go off on today.

Well, it's snowing again today, for the first time in awhile. I have bible study tonight and am looking forward to that. I am really needing encouragement from a body of believers. I think that Landon gets a lot of spiritual encouragement at school and i don't encounter a body of believers outside of Sunday mornings, so i'm glad that my Trinity wives bible study is starting again for the semester.

Do you have any new years resolutions? Or rather, is there anything in your life that you are trying to accomplish or any way that you are trying to better yourself?

There are 3 things that are on my list of things to accomplish:
1. find a consistent time/place for me to have "hannah time". I really need a time and place that is just for me. i have a hard time doing this at home since my work is at home - i just have a hard time consentrating on something, especially if it is prayer or reading or journaling while i'm at home.
2. i want to start playing the piano at a retirement community up the street.
3. just yesterday landon and i decided that we want to run a half-marathon in madison, WI in october. so next time i'm at the library, i'm going to try to find a book about training for a half-marathon. Neither of us have ever ran that far before and we have plenty of time to get in shape for the race!

Okay, now that i've put those things out there, i'll have more of an initiative to do them! You see my capacity for self discipline? Maybe i should add that to the list - that's going a little too far, don't you think? these 3 will keep me challenged and busy for awhile...

1 comment:

Lindsay Schneck said...

finding a church can definitely be a process. jon and i finally landed in the right spot a little over a year ago, so take heart! we love where we landed.

i totally feel you on the surrendering. thanks for sharing that. it helps to know i'm not alone :)