Monday, August 13, 2012

Little Baby: 17 Weeks

I am currently 17 weeks pregnant (4 mos)

(climbing in the Uintas this weekend)

Nothing new on the pregnancy symptom front. Although, for the first time in my life I have "long" nails. The hormones in my body apparently supply me with stronger nails, which is fun! I'm still craving salami all the time and eating meat most every day. Ever since communion at church, last week, I have been craving wine every evening as well.

I've been concentrating patiently to see if I can feel Little Baby rockin' out in the belly but I still haven't felt anything. But that's okay. I know some day I'll take note of its movings and after that, it'll never sit still again. For the rest. of. my. life.

We still have a few weeks until our ultrasound and it makes me so excited, it's almost distracting.

This week I've had 3 people tell me that i'm "starting to show". Part of me is overjoyed. Yay! I'm not just covered in acne and looking fat these days, but actually looking like a pregnant woman. Of course, these are people that know that i'm pregnant. And part of me is thinking, starting to show!?

I feel like I'm huge. I honestly really do struggle with my changing body. I didn't anticipate this struggle at all. I would always look at pregnant women and think that they are radiant and so lucky! I do feel so fortunate to have the opportunity to be a mom, but the changes in my body make me a little sad. I was in the best shape of my life 4 months ago and now i'm bigger than i've ever been in my life. A quick transition like that, especially after it took me a year and a half to get in the physical shape I was in, makes me feel discouraged. Even though I'M PREGNANT! I feel awful and disgraceful to admit it, but i do feel very unlovely in this new big-booty-big-belly-acne-covered body.

The heat here is starting to wear on me. Not because I'm pregnant, necessarily, but because I'm a weakling when it comes to summer weather. With last week topping at 102 degrees one day and the rest of the days in the upper 90's, I remain sessile. Last summer I ran after work every day in the upper-90 degree weather and I remember almost passing out on several occasions. That is not worth the risk when I'm responsible for this Little Baby now. I just can't get myself out of bed early enough to complete a run before work. Bad excuse, I know, but my body sleeps very hard these days. I've always prided myself at being a morning person and have never had issues waking at the alarm and these last 4 months I've really struggled pulling myself out of bed.

1 comment:

Merritt said...

hey - hang in there with the changing body issues - you've been stuck in the "tweener" phase when nothing fits - real clothes are too tight; maternity is too big...but soon your belly will be perfectly round and you'll feel/look pregnant and not just stuck in between!!