Friday, February 15, 2008

what's my deal?

I am quite fickle when it comes to the weather. We've had (A LOT) of snow for quite awile. I actually really do like the snow. but now i'm tiresome of it. It's a pain when you're trying to make a turn across traffic and you can't see the opposite direction of the traffic that you must merge into because of the TOWER of snow that the snow plow discarded there a week ago. I got a voicemail from the village of gurnee warning me that we've had so much snow this winter that they have run out of salt and whatever chemicals they throw on the roads, so to only drive on major roads because they would only be icing major intersections. what? how is that possible. salt is...salt! well, landon and i actually favor the salt=less roads. not because we like to slide around like the ice-capades, but because it turns everything white and then our puppy loves to lick our cars when we get home. that's just gross. what i really wish would change is the COLD!

but then i remember the post that i wrote a little over a month ago where i was complaining about the melted snow. i said i either wanted snow or nothing at all, but the flooding and mud left behind by the snow was worse than the cold. so.... what's my deal?

i'm not sure if i just don't want to live contentely, or if i just want so much to look forward to (warmer weather!) but i do know that i am weird.

landon and i ran into one of my co-workers at wal-mart today and i stopped to say hi to her. once i told her i'd see her later and we had walked a few isles over landon asked me why i'm so socially awkward these days. what!? i mean, i knew that after i returned from africa and people would wish me "good morning" and i would say, "good morning to you" that i was just a little too influenced by my african friends, but that sort-of wore off. but i'm finding myself talking on the phone endlessly about stupid things to people who really have better things to do (like ACSI co-workers). and when i actually talk to someone in PERSON, i'm fidgetty and always trying to get out of it - assuming they have better things to do. what's my deal? i AM socially awkward! Landon asked me why i've been this way so much lately, and i realized that i am VERY limited as far as my social interraction with people. that must be it, i guess. you know, how homeschooled children are a bit socially awkward until they are integrated into society? i guess when the only people that i talk to at length are my sister on the phone and my husband in the evening, i might be weird in all other social situations that require getting to know someone or making small talk.

welp. i'm not sure how to work on this. quite honestly, knowing that i'm socially awkward may make me even MORE easily distracted in social encounters. geez, i seriously need a life.


Brandon and Callie said...

i know the feeling...i just talk to mo all day and he's pretty quiet:)

kcknoles said...

oh, Hannah! You are one of the easiest people to talk to that I know! Just wait until you have kids, man, do I feel strange when I accidentally talk "baby talk" to an adult. Oops. Anyway, you are a beautiful, godly woman and I've always loved every conversation we've had! I think it is just a phase of being a wife (then mother), it takes a while to find a social outlet sometimes. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your heart. I miss you :)