Christmas at home

It's Christmas morning. I've been up early every day since i got here (colorado - HOME!!!) I'm used to being up early and i just don't want to waste any moments of sleep when i could be enjoying myself and enjoying my family. so i'm the only one awake right now again. i really should be sleeping because i got a cold a few days ago. that always happens when i get home. i think it's because i finally let down my adrenaline and my worries and busyness which keep me going steady and just relax - and somehow when my body and heart and mind relax, my immune system takes a vaca also. oh well. i don't really care - i'm home.

landon and i always try to cram colorado adventures into our family time here. we've been rock climbing and cross-country skiing so far. i've mostly just been testing my ankle to see if it'll stay together - it did.

my parents house looks like a Christmas catalog inside and out - not kidding. they have an attic that my father built in the garage JUST for Christmas decorations. it takes them 2 entire, complete 8 hour days to put up all decorations. it is just amazing. the whole house is transformed. it is beautiful.

we went to see "Jersey Boys" in downtown Denver which was wonderful. landon wore a bow-tie - LOVE THAT! and i wore my sister's clothes - really love that!

I just heard santa slide down the chimney, so i'm gonna go get him some coffee and see if i can go grab a peak. don't tell!

love you. miss you. hoping that your Christmas is so joyful - how else can we respond to the gift of God-made-flesh for our sakes with his great love? We will be celebrating with much joy! I hope you will too!

Our Christmas

Landon and I enjoyed our own Christmas evening McBrayer style. We opened gifts from McBrayers and each other and enjoyed some cheese fondue and sparkling wine. Wonderful.

silence, but not neglect

i have tried to post numerous times this week - i want you coming back and i want us to stay connected so i try to post AT LEAST every other day, hopefully more. but this week i just couldn't. it was a rough week. and i know that one of the reasons for my rough week is the same reason for some of your rough weeks, and i'm so so sorry. I've tried to post on light topics like my desire for another nose piercing and silly things like that, but it just seems so much of a lie right now with all else that's going on in my heart/mind. so i just opted for silence - but not neglect.

A good start to a crappy morning

I know it's been bad when I come home and see the dirty bowl reminiscent of breakfast sitting in my kitchen sink and when i remember eating oatmeal i think it was yesterday.

Landon's still asleep right now so i had to get this off my chest somehow.

I woke this morning early. Like i usually do for my mornings at Starbucks. Only today i woke up 20 minutes early - naturally (no alarm - hooray!). Landon was still awake from his late night and he fixed me oatmeal for breakfast and kept me company while i ate in a zombie fashion. he even started my car for me in hopes of a warm ride to work. after his kiss goodbye and "thank you for working so early" i felt empowered.

I shouldn't let ONE little thing ruin my day. but i did. and it did. around, hm... 6am i had a customer treat me like utter dirt. scum, even. I actually deal with many rude, impatient, cruel customers daily, but this lady takes the cake. She ordered her drink curtly (but i get it - it's cold out there in the drive-thru) and asked for a "piece of sausage". hm... did i hear that correctly? do we sell "a piece of sausage"? I told her that i would be happy to warm up the sausage from one of our sandwiches, but i would have to charge her for the entire sandwich. After this she proceeded to scream and scream at me and tell me that she is here EVERY DAY (except she isn't because I am here every day and i have never seen her in my life)and my manager better be at the window when she gets there.

we made her drink perfectly and provided her with excellent customer service. when she pulled up to the window i went to greet her. she was awful and asked for the manager. i told her that i was the supervisor (which threw her in an even bigger fit). she proceeded to scream at me calling me obscene names and began to ramble off four letter words in eloquence and speed i've only heard in movies like "snatch". at this point i am actually physically shaking from adrenaline and fright. she asked me a thousand questions but actually didn't want any answers - she would not let me speak to her one bit. i even wrote down the phone number to starbuck's headquarters with our manager's name and my name as well. i apologized. she told me that we just lost a customer - from now on she will go across the street to mcdonalds. i seriously doubt she will....but i hope she does.

she smelled like trees

(photo by Philipp Klinger)

She smelled like trees. In the corner it was dark, but I could see the window. I squatted there, holding the slipper. I couldn't see it, but my hands saw it, and I could hear it getting night, and my hands saw the slipper but I couldn't see myself, but my hands could see the slipper, and I squatted there, hearing it getting dark.

William Faulkner, The Sound and the Fury

perspective

Every once in awhile i write a post and save it only as a draft - for a couple of reasons. Sometimes, just not sure if i want all eyes on my thoughts on a certain issue (you notice the typical lightness of my topics), sometimes re-evaluating my motives for a post, and other reasons. This is one such post.

Yesterday i was in a LONG line at the bank - i was there for 30 minutes! Our bank is in the lower-income part of town (i like to call it the "ghetto" but it isn't exactly a ghetto). Friday was pay day, and Christmas is in less than 2 weeks. People were frantic to deposit and withdraw cash. The couple in front of me wanted to withdraw cash even though they did not have the funds in their account - what is that, denae - a cash advance or something? They were desperate for the cash and the lady had to deny them because they had a cash advance (or whatever it is called) only two weeks prior.

When i got back to the store, there was a lady waiting at the bus stop outside of starbucks with a grocery cart full of groceries. I thought that if she was still there when i got off that i should offer to drive her and her groceries home.

Two weeks ago a man confronted me in the grocery store parking lot at night asking me for money. I made him come into the store with me before i would open my purse for him - but i gave him all the cash i had which was VERY little. He was discouraged.

The store next door was robbed a few weeks ago.

Starbucks is cutting hours majorly. Our partners aren't working enough to support themselves. They come to work with dirty aprons and are freezing in our drive-thru window - almost all of my partners have caught cold in the last 3 weeks since the temps have plummeted. I ask them to wash their aprons and think about buying some long-sleeve shirts to wear to work. They explain to me that they can't even afford money for Christmas gifts, let alone weekly laundry and new clothes.

I am surrounded by people in desperation living from pay check to pay check and on top of it all, are burdened by the desire (or pressure) to be buying gifts for loved ones. To have a "good" Christmas.

I think of them and their hurting and am so grateful for the steady income that provides Landon and i with the opportunity to pay our bills, eat, AND purchase gifts for those we love. perspective.

I also think about our Christmas in Africa. We were without the commercialism of Christmas in the States. We didn't have a Christmas tree. We decided not to buy gifts for each other. Instead, only bought chickens for friends so they could have a richer celebration with their families. And we spent Christmas morning with the orphans, and afternoon eating potatoes and pies with other missionaries. And we were surrounded by people in far greater poverty than those we live near here, yet they celebrated Christmas and anticipated it with amazing joy. They celebrated Christmas with praise to God for his greatest gift - for becoming man and joining us, loving us, and sacrificing his own life for us so that we could live in joy and wholeness despite what we have lost or are without in our lives. They knew that in having Christ, we have everything - there is nothing greater. And celebrating Christmas with that perspective was so refreshing and humbling and honest and joyous and beautiful.

Being in America and seeing the greed and despair of our culture during this most precious celebration is heartbreaking. But it is there, and there is only one Hope.

a light has dawned

The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the
shadow of death
a light has dawned...
For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his
shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Isaiah 9:2,6

Southern Thanksgiving

I am SO sorry. I should have had these pictures up a long time ago. Since Landon went to Georgia to see the fam and i was missing out i asked him to take lots of pictures of our nieces and nephew because i never get to see them and miss them dearly. He brought home about 5 pictures of the kiddies in the tub together - cute - but those are FAMILY pictures so they will stay on MY side of the computer screen. Otherwise, he brought home these shots of McBrayer family fun!

"The Lodge" Where the magic happens.
How old is Brookie these days? 9?
probably playing cards
That gun kicks just a bit, don't you think?
and that one kills
Merritt - mother of the year and queen multi-tasker.
Merritt, Nina and Griffin on Griffy's first 4-wheeler ride!
family style
Charleen's a proud grandmother with those beautiful toddlers: Addison and Griffin. "Roll Tide!"

just a disclaimer or 3:
-Brooke was under HEAVY supervision
-the deer was not tortured and will be feeding us for the next year (last time i posted a picture of Landon's hunting trip i received death threats in my comments section - no joke).
-the picture of mommy merritt with avery was staged. of course she shot the gun, but not with that treasure in her arms.

Every once in awhile (and far too often than i should admit) a battle duels within me:

Coffe or Sleep?

Sleep or Coffee?

One is necessary and so becomes the other.

I'm so tired right now...

Sleep or Coffee?

Coffee or sleep?

hm... coffee is easier.

Remembering Christ this Christmas

With Christmas approaching, I try to direct my reading toward what would cause reflection of Christ. During this season i want to keep Christ in his place. My thoughts often are and should not be on what i am buying whom and if there is snow and my eagerness to be back in Colorado.

Haha, the truth that God so clearly spoke to me over the Thanksgiving holiday is already easily forgotten 10 days later. Christmas is about him. It is about remembering and praising HIM.

Anything i can read/do/sing that will help me to keep this focus during the many distractions and commercial world that i live and work in, is something that i need. Maybe you are challenged in the same way. Here are some thing i've thought of that may encourage us both.

I've been reading Francine River's "Lineage of Grace" series. Francine Rivers is one of my favorite novelists of all time. There are 5 books in this series. Each book focuses on one of the 5 women in the lineage of Christ: Tamar, Bathsheba, Rahab, Ruth, and Mary. Of course, this is historical and biblical fiction, but fiction nontheless. Though in the back of each book, Rivers includes the scriptures that she used to weave her story and she challenges her readers to find the truth for themselves. Each of the novelas are very short - i've been able to complete one on a plane ride or within my lunch hour during a week of work.

One of the most meaningful guided Bible studies i've ever done is "Jesus the one and only" by Beth Moore. If any of you know anything about Beth Moore, you probably agree that she is an anointed teacher of scripture. I've done a few of her studies - they are so amazing. This one i've done a few times. The first time with a dear friend and accountability partner as we were anticipating Easter in 2004. The second time during our year in Kenya. This is a 10 week study with accompanying videos (which i never do because i can't afford - but maybe a local church's womens ministry would let you borrow them). The first 2 weeks are entitled "The Word Made Flesh" and "The Son of God". it would be worth it just to go through these 2 chapters in the next two weeks if you so desire.

I just really need some inspiration and something to encourage self-discipline (i certainly struggle with that) in keeping my heart and mind on Christ amidst all the other wonderful joys of Christmas. What do you do to "keep Christ in Christmas" in your hearts?