Thursday, February 19, 2009

stone


When i blog i like to use interesting pictures (ie: none that i've taken), so i head on over to www.flickr.com and i TRY to make sure to credit the artist, but sometimes i just save beautiful pictures and use them days later and have no clue where they came from (i'm so sorry whomever you are!)


yesterday as i was searching for a picture of something in particular and i came across this photographer's "photo stream" and sat there looking through each and every picture almost in tears over the captions. Tom Stone takes portraits of people "living on the edges of society". he walks the streets of San Francisco and sees people who are destitue, takes a seat beside them, gets to know their story, becomes their friend, and takes their picture. Each picture in his gallery has the story of the person in the portrait. It is a beautiful compilation and i am really "enjoying"(in quotes because it's actually really heart-wrenching to read a lot of it, but it's so moving that it is meaningful = enjoying) looking through each picture and getting to know these people.

You can visit his photo stream at the link above or see his personal gallery website. .

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

dreary drizzly day

photo by owlsblood

i know that you understand that sometimes life is so busy and confusing that articulating things in a blog (or in our own thoughts) can be a challenge. and that's sort of where i am. i'm on the up-side of a few very challenging months. sometimes i'm afraid that it's my mind and not my life that effects my emotional well-being and this sort of freaks me out. i don't want to have mental issues. but some do and strive still. i've adapted some new disciplines that have really helped - well, actually i've re-embraced some things that should probably just be routine.

this last month i've been going to bed around 8pm every night, 7:30 if i'm tired enough. and for the first time since my medical leave 6 months ago, i'm averaging just a little less than 8 hours of sleep a night each week. that's great. i'm exercising regularily - which at first was hard to fit in, but i'm finding it makes a world of difference in my energy and my physical and emotional well-being. and i'm reading again. having my bachelor's degree in english literature, reading is something that i enjoy so much and has become a necessary discipline and enjoyment in my life.

sometimes this is still hard. i mean, these early mornings at starbucks and then traveling for my other job and working the rest of the day and watching the dreaded dishes pile in the kitchen sink. but that's normal, right - that's how you do it too don't you? i'm grateful that these resurrected enjoyments have returned me to a life that i feel like is actually MINE, where i can be ME and instead of drag my feet through each day, i can live with greater hope for the future. i'm not just a work-horse and a mean wife. i can still be ME!

Monday, February 16, 2009

i am so grateful for you


photo by clumsy bird

Sometimes i feel so alone out here in the abyss (not cyberspace, silly, Illinois!), and it is so comforting to know that you are there even though i am here. and right now as i type this and listen to my awesome play list and plan to cook dinner soon...you are there: striving, cooking, reading, driving, sleeping, working, and trying hard to make ends meet and trying to love those that mean so much to you while you continue to discover and express yourself and amidst all of this wanting God's will and his glory above all... and you amaze me. and i am so inspired by you. and if you are wondering if i mean you or someone else, i mean YOU!!!

love you. thanks for your commitment (and i don't mean reading my blog, i mean loving me).

i just...

am so grateful for you is all.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


just about to catch a plane to B-ham for another ACSI convention. Just wanted to post SOMETHING so you keep coming back for more. don't give up on me! love you all and have a happy valentine's day.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

The Need to Praise

photo by Robyn Walsh
I could see at least for a moment how if you ever took truly to heart the ultimate goodness and joy of things, even at their bleakest, the need to praise someone or something for it would be so great that you might even have to go out and speak of it to the birds of the air.
Frederick Buechner, "The Need to Praise"

I was having "Hannah time" today and was really struck by this while i was reading bits of Buechner. And it was a good reminder. Man, my attitude is so crappy lately. I'm sure i can find more to be grateful for and so many praiseworthy things in life besides financial and material provision in this scary time (of this i have been overwhelmingly and constantly SO THANKFUL for - especially as i see many many friends and coworkers desperately struggling...). Today i was praying that God would bring someone to speak some encouraging truth into my life - i have been so discouraged lately. I just asked him to minister to me and for my heart to be open to that ministry (i'm sure he brings those instances into my life often and i don't even see them because i am so consumend in other things). And i'm not sure if it was Buechner's writing that God had intended to be my minister, but either way, i was blessed by this truth today....and many others.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Joys of the day:

Taking a nap with my hunny after my morning at work:

Happy Hour: Brie on toasted french bread with a yummy local beer - (made of coffee!!!)

SKIING!!






The warmest weather we've had since December: 35 degrees.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Love's Old Sweet Song


Well, Valentine's day is in 10 days. So for the next ten days i will have a lovey-dovey play list that i have compiled in many many tiny moments of procrastination over the past few months. Don't worry - i'll leave this one optional as well, and i'll remove it immediately following V-day. Hope it inspires!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

sunshine shower


I've had this awesome priviledge of living in 2 houses that have full size windows in the shower. In college, i lived in a big and huge and beautiful house with 4 other girls (one of their dads built it but their family was in CA for the year so we rented it for cheap - it was amazing!). Because i was accustomed to living alone before, they thought that i should have the bedroom at the bottom of the stairs that had its own bathroom (didn't have to twist my arm!!!).

This house was on a steep hill of Colorado pines and had an amazing view out the main room (of all windows) at Pikes Peak. I still can't believe i ever lived there. But my room was in the back of the house and i had amazing mornings waking to see a deer standing outside of my bedroom window - no reason to close the shades - there were no houses behind us) And i loved showering when the sunshine would come in and ride down the water - it was a wonderful way to start the day.

And here, in our little house, we have a fullsized window inside of our little shower. Even at night i turn off the light in the bathroom and shower in the moonlight. I just love showering in the natural light. It is much more peaceful (well, especially because our light and our fan are attached to the same switch - so when the light is on in the bathroom, the fan is always roaring).

Just love it.

Some day i hope to live somewhere where i can actually shower outside. When we were in Thailand we stayed at a place that had a stone shower outside - it was just amazing.

Anna, didn't you and JP live in a place with an outdoor shower?

Sunday, February 1, 2009

dish-washing delight


Just now Landon lovingly called to me from the kitchen, "Hey Sheels, good job! You've managed to clean all but 6 dishes this time!"

Dish washing has been something that i've grown into tolerating these past 3 years. When we lived in Kenya and i had only been married (and only been cooking) for 7 months and everything was to be made from scratch and hot water had to be boiled and dishes had to be done :gulp: by HAND, the kitchen was my torture chamber.

When we got back to the States, i insisted that i could live ANYWHERE as long as it had 2 necessary things: carpet, and a dishwasher. And so our little apartment in Colorado Springs even had a fire place and backed up to a trail beside a stream - and wildly exceeded my hopes and expectations.

Now we live out here. With hot water as much as we'd like and a gas stove - that's a new treat. But we are lacking carpet and a dishwasher once again. Something about the lack of those things makes me feel like we are living a bit primitive. And once again i was back to washing dishes by hand. This isn't too bad, i know. but Landon and i actually are privileged to enjoy all 3 meals a day at our house usually so we tend to stack up the dishes (at least there's only 2 of us!). We're finally getting the discipline to do them almost daily and Landon has really contributed to sharing the dish-washing load this time.

When we first moved here, washing dishes was a real daily battle for me. I would be so frustrated by the time i was done and my hands were swollen and pruney. I had to begin to make it a time of prayer for me. I had to see dish washing as a way of serving my family thus serving God to get me through it - no kidding. It was such a struggle. Now, 20 months later, it's a piece of cake. I hardly think about it while i'm doing it. Evidenced mostly by my good mood toward my pruney swollen fingers, and the fact that 1 of every 10 dishes has to be re-washed by the sweet Mr. McBrayer.

Some people despise certain house-hold chores. There are only two that I have always had a hard time with: mopping, and dish washing. Though i have finally waved a white flag to the dirty dishes and especially have learned to enjoy them with a glass of wine or a bottle of beer, i can't imagine learning to tolerate mopping. Whenever i do clean the floors, we don't even use a mop (we don't even OWN a mop) and instead i use a wash cloth and crawl around on all four's scrubbing out the dirt. Maybe that's why i hate it so. blech, i don't actually want to talk about it.

but look at me, though i'm lousy at dishes, i'm finally becoming domesticated enough to do them often and without resentment. that's a feet!